At some point caregiving ends. Its not a nice thought, but if you have been taking care of someone with Alzheimer’s for more than a couple of years, then you are probably very “reality based”. The shine has come off of the gung-ho and the relentlessness of the illness has convinced you.
But you know all to well caregiving does end.
And when it does you may want to pick up your life and get back in the swing of things. In fact you may actually be very eager to return to the workplace.
Perhaps you want to do something completely new and different. But what? you ask yourself.
Take a look at http://www.encore.org/ And even though I personally have not used them…I met the founder years ago on a spiritual retreat. Don Coyhis. No spring chicken himself, he has spent a lifetime helping people. I met Don Coyhis at a retreat in Santa Barbara, and fell in love with his unique blend of Western and Native American spiritual systems. Yes, Don is a Native American. I enjoyed Don so much that I took job in Colorado Springs to be near him and another dear friend, Don Pruit. I jokingly called myself “the lesser of 3 Dons” whenever we got together. When I left Colorado Springs a few months later, I lost touch with Don. Surprisingly I stumbled across his organization while doing some research tonight. And I can tell you there is nobody like him, and I have no doubts that his organization will be reflective of that easy going, motivational and practical personality.
I predict that in the next decade, as us Boomers start “filling up the Stadium” Don’s little non-profit organization will be getting a lot of attention. So I want you to know about it now. If you are looking to do something different, or if you have been out of action because of caregiving responsibilities, take a look at aka Encore Careers.
Good Luck, Donahue
p.s. for the record – I am NOT getting paid to promote Don, or his organization. Truth is, they don’t even know I am recommending them and I like it that way…
Showing posts with label Caregiving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Caregiving. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Mom Sure Takes A Lot Of Meds
Q: I need to get a handle on all a these medications?
A:
Americans over the age of 65 take lots of medications: the average "healthy" adult takes 9 different drugs. If you are taking care of sick parent or spouse (or sibling), the average can be substantially higher. Do you ever wonder if the side effects of one drug have caused the need for one of the other drugs? What about side-effects? Drug interactions? How about this: Do you ever think that your loved one is unnecessarily taking multiple medications for the same condition? At the end of this article I am going to show you a free website that you can use to compare any two medications! My favorite part about this tool is that you don't even have to know how to spell them...it's like Google - when you start typing the name it will try to guess what you are attempting to spell (that saves me everytime).
But first allow me to state the obvious. You know that whenever you are taking your parent or spouse to the doctor you should take all of the medications that they own with you, so the doctor can check. (Don't count on your memory). Also remember to include over-the-counter meds and even bring supplements and vitamins. Why? I am glad you asked.
The perfect example "why?" is baby aspirin. Doctors are fond of prescribing 81mg baby aspirin to reduce the risk of stroke and heart attack because aspirin is a mild blood thinner. If your loved one has ever had a stroke then the doctor has probably also prescribed a stronger blood thinner like Warfarin (Coumadin). But lets look at something else. If you have ever researched anti-oxidants maybe you added supplements like Garlic, or Ginger. Maybe you added a little Ginko Biloba because you read (erroneously) that it is just as effective as Aricept? Fish Oil for Omega 3 seems to be on everyone's supplement list for heart health too. But you may not be aware that every one of the supplements I have just mentioned are also blood thinners! So it's best not to take chances and take everything to the doctor.
On average, Americans over the age of 65 have seen more than 28 different doctors in their life () In a Country with every kind of specialty under-the-sun, many seniors are regularly visiting their family doctor, a podiatrist, a neurologist and an internist. Each one may be prescribing different medication, with significant overlap. This is yet another reason to take every pill bottle you can find with you to your next visit to the MD.
Considering how many doctors and medications you're juggling for your parent or spouse, you may have other reasons to compare drugs and their interactions: Saving money, eliminating unnecessary prescriptions and researching the source of side effects. However, considering how little "face-time" time you get with the doctor, it is a good idea to do your homework first. Generally, a doctor will respect a caregiver that has done a little research. At the very least it gives them a chance to show off their superior knowledge.
Now for that website I promised you in the first paragraph: is my secret website that has wonderful and well written information, and the specific URL that has an amazing free tool that compares medication is: http://healthtools.aarp.org/drug-compare
Please look below for an example of what you will see when you go to the website. I tested it out by comparing Namenda and Aricept. Not only did it give me a great description...it also asked AND answered the most frequent questions that people have...
Please feel free to share this great tool with your friends.
A:
Americans over the age of 65 take lots of medications: the average "healthy" adult takes 9 different drugs. If you are taking care of sick parent or spouse (or sibling), the average can be substantially higher. Do you ever wonder if the side effects of one drug have caused the need for one of the other drugs? What about side-effects? Drug interactions? How about this: Do you ever think that your loved one is unnecessarily taking multiple medications for the same condition? At the end of this article I am going to show you a free website that you can use to compare any two medications! My favorite part about this tool is that you don't even have to know how to spell them...it's like Google - when you start typing the name it will try to guess what you are attempting to spell (that saves me everytime).
But first allow me to state the obvious. You know that whenever you are taking your parent or spouse to the doctor you should take all of the medications that they own with you, so the doctor can check. (Don't count on your memory). Also remember to include over-the-counter meds and even bring supplements and vitamins. Why? I am glad you asked.
The perfect example "why?" is baby aspirin. Doctors are fond of prescribing 81mg baby aspirin to reduce the risk of stroke and heart attack because aspirin is a mild blood thinner. If your loved one has ever had a stroke then the doctor has probably also prescribed a stronger blood thinner like Warfarin (Coumadin). But lets look at something else. If you have ever researched anti-oxidants maybe you added supplements like Garlic, or Ginger. Maybe you added a little Ginko Biloba because you read (erroneously) that it is just as effective as Aricept? Fish Oil for Omega 3 seems to be on everyone's supplement list for heart health too. But you may not be aware that every one of the supplements I have just mentioned are also blood thinners! So it's best not to take chances and take everything to the doctor.
On average, Americans over the age of 65 have seen more than 28 different doctors in their life () In a Country with every kind of specialty under-the-sun, many seniors are regularly visiting their family doctor, a podiatrist, a neurologist and an internist. Each one may be prescribing different medication, with significant overlap. This is yet another reason to take every pill bottle you can find with you to your next visit to the MD.
Considering how many doctors and medications you're juggling for your parent or spouse, you may have other reasons to compare drugs and their interactions: Saving money, eliminating unnecessary prescriptions and researching the source of side effects. However, considering how little "face-time" time you get with the doctor, it is a good idea to do your homework first. Generally, a doctor will respect a caregiver that has done a little research. At the very least it gives them a chance to show off their superior knowledge.
Now for that website I promised you in the first paragraph: is my secret website that has wonderful and well written information, and the specific URL that has an amazing free tool that compares medication is: http://healthtools.aarp.org/drug-compare
Please look below for an example of what you will see when you go to the website. I tested it out by comparing Namenda and Aricept. Not only did it give me a great description...it also asked AND answered the most frequent questions that people have...
Please feel free to share this great tool with your friends.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Caregivers: Get a $350 Assessment for FREE
Check out the free dementia assessment tool that I am giving away. Its a $350 value and comes with 3 videos that explain how to fill it out. Ideal for someone taking care of a parent or spouse diagnosed with Alzheimer's: You can get a copy at
Caregiver Assessment Tool
SECONDLY:
There come a time in the progression of this illness, when you might have to make difficult choices. Probably the worst is considering placement. This is a very tough decision, and is different for everyone. Factors include: burnout, finances, care needs, and ultimately what is best for your loved one.
Granted, no one loves your mom or dad like you do. But there may be a time when you cannot provide them with enough care or stimulation. While you cannot stop the progress of this illness, you CAN slow it down. Assisted living communities have given researchers the evidence, that with daily regime of exercise (fine motor skills, gross motor movement) and stimulation (verbal, visual and auditory) you can slow it down!
Personal reasoning aside, choosing a community can be a difficult process. And you only want to have to do it once. Picking the wrong one and then going through the process of moving again can be very time consuming.
As an executive director of assisted living communities, I can tell you about "referral agencies". They are great because you give them all your information (locations, price range, etc.), and they will help you by narrowing down your choices. Best of all they are free to you! (We end up paying them for the referral, but its worth it to us). In all my years, one national company stands head and shoulders above the others: A Place For Mom.
What you don't know, is some 'free' referral agencies, will give you a short list, but blast your information to every home in the city, and you end up being bombarded with marketing calls. They do this so that they are assured that no matter where you go, they will make money. A Place For Mom does not do that. They are very personable, and efficient. They will hold your hand through the whole process and never let go. I think I speak for a lot of administrators and families when I say this.
Caregiver Assessment Tool
SECONDLY:
There come a time in the progression of this illness, when you might have to make difficult choices. Probably the worst is considering placement. This is a very tough decision, and is different for everyone. Factors include: burnout, finances, care needs, and ultimately what is best for your loved one.
Granted, no one loves your mom or dad like you do. But there may be a time when you cannot provide them with enough care or stimulation. While you cannot stop the progress of this illness, you CAN slow it down. Assisted living communities have given researchers the evidence, that with daily regime of exercise (fine motor skills, gross motor movement) and stimulation (verbal, visual and auditory) you can slow it down!
Personal reasoning aside, choosing a community can be a difficult process. And you only want to have to do it once. Picking the wrong one and then going through the process of moving again can be very time consuming.
As an executive director of assisted living communities, I can tell you about "referral agencies". They are great because you give them all your information (locations, price range, etc.), and they will help you by narrowing down your choices. Best of all they are free to you! (We end up paying them for the referral, but its worth it to us). In all my years, one national company stands head and shoulders above the others: A Place For Mom.
What you don't know, is some 'free' referral agencies, will give you a short list, but blast your information to every home in the city, and you end up being bombarded with marketing calls. They do this so that they are assured that no matter where you go, they will make money. A Place For Mom does not do that. They are very personable, and efficient. They will hold your hand through the whole process and never let go. I think I speak for a lot of administrators and families when I say this.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Fight or Flight: The Result is The Same
If there is one thing in common for all caregivers it's STRESS! It doesn't seem to matter if you are caring for a parent or spouse or friend; if you are doing it long-distance or you are living in the same house - all caregivers suffer from stress. Call it "worry" , "anxiety", "fear" or any other word, the result is the same.
By result I mean the toll it is taking on your body and on your health. It is proven that long-term stress triggers the HPA response in your body. The HPA response refers to the Hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal axis. The end result of which is a triggering of the same hormones and neurotransmitters that are released in the "fight or flight" response.
"Fight or Flight" is the bodies emergency response system designed to survive an immediate threat to life and limb. Which is great, except when it does not turn off. The same response system when left on too long starts to eat away at our immune system, thus increasing the chance of catching colds, flu, and other illness. But that is only the beginning. it also starts tearing away at the body so that what helps us in the short term, starts damaging us in the long run, increasing our chances for heart attack, stroke, diabetes, and much more.
Almost every caregiver I ever met, was a caregiver for the first time, on a steep learning curve, and was thrust into the roll unexpectedly. Naturally, it is very stressful: financially, emotionally, and physically. It strains family relationships and disrupts plans and goals.
However, caregivers must remember to take care of themselves. If you are a caregiver you are probably struggling on your own, with little or no help. But if something should happen to you what will happen to your loved one? Do you see why controlling stress is so important. Half of all caregivers pass away before the person they caring for. I don't mean to be an alarmist, but you need to start taking better care of yourself.
How? By taking advantage of all the programs and services that are available for caregivers. Many of them for little or no money. You may be an expert in your field. But I am an expert in this field. If you need to do taxes you go to an accountant, if you go to court you need a lawyer, if you are building a home you go to a contractor. Why would you try to delve into the world of caregiving without guidance?
Do you know how much money you are losing going it alone? First, there are services, products and ideas that you missed because you did not know about them, then there are the cheaper (and sometimes better) alternatives to the things you DO know about, and finally there is the value of all the lost time you spent researching the tasks and services that you did find.
Consider signing up www.EasyCaregiving.com . You may very well be glad you did, and if you learn nothing new or helpful, it cost you nothing to look. In addition, as a Gerontologist, I have website with free membership: SIGN UP Just put your name and email address and get a free stress management recording that can de-stress your day to day frustrations. Later you will get a free ebook on how to handle "sundowning" or wandering, a very dangerous symptom that happens to about 70% of Alzheimer's sufferers.
By result I mean the toll it is taking on your body and on your health. It is proven that long-term stress triggers the HPA response in your body. The HPA response refers to the Hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal axis. The end result of which is a triggering of the same hormones and neurotransmitters that are released in the "fight or flight" response.
"Fight or Flight" is the bodies emergency response system designed to survive an immediate threat to life and limb. Which is great, except when it does not turn off. The same response system when left on too long starts to eat away at our immune system, thus increasing the chance of catching colds, flu, and other illness. But that is only the beginning. it also starts tearing away at the body so that what helps us in the short term, starts damaging us in the long run, increasing our chances for heart attack, stroke, diabetes, and much more.
Almost every caregiver I ever met, was a caregiver for the first time, on a steep learning curve, and was thrust into the roll unexpectedly. Naturally, it is very stressful: financially, emotionally, and physically. It strains family relationships and disrupts plans and goals.
However, caregivers must remember to take care of themselves. If you are a caregiver you are probably struggling on your own, with little or no help. But if something should happen to you what will happen to your loved one? Do you see why controlling stress is so important. Half of all caregivers pass away before the person they caring for. I don't mean to be an alarmist, but you need to start taking better care of yourself.
How? By taking advantage of all the programs and services that are available for caregivers. Many of them for little or no money. You may be an expert in your field. But I am an expert in this field. If you need to do taxes you go to an accountant, if you go to court you need a lawyer, if you are building a home you go to a contractor. Why would you try to delve into the world of caregiving without guidance?
Do you know how much money you are losing going it alone? First, there are services, products and ideas that you missed because you did not know about them, then there are the cheaper (and sometimes better) alternatives to the things you DO know about, and finally there is the value of all the lost time you spent researching the tasks and services that you did find.
Consider signing up www.EasyCaregiving.com . You may very well be glad you did, and if you learn nothing new or helpful, it cost you nothing to look. In addition, as a Gerontologist, I have website with free membership: SIGN UP Just put your name and email address and get a free stress management recording that can de-stress your day to day frustrations. Later you will get a free ebook on how to handle "sundowning" or wandering, a very dangerous symptom that happens to about 70% of Alzheimer's sufferers.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Assisted Living: taking my own advice
A PLACE FOR MOM is a national referral agency. As an executive director of a large assisted living, I am contracted with about a dozen different agencies like this one.
My dad, who is on a limited budget and cannot afford to live in my building (how's that for irony), was begging me to help him find a new place where the weather is not so hot. He has a sister in Central California, but I did not know anything about communities that far away. So I contacted A Place For Mom as a client, and the shoe was on the other foot, so to speak. I cannot tell you how pleasant the experience was! I did nothing special, I just went on the website, and followed the prompts, and answered the questions.
A very nice counselor called and emailed me, she was not pushy, she listened carefully, and on Wednesday I took my dad to the train station to go see the places that were recommended. My dad returned on Friday, and reported a wonderful experience.
Whether he moves or not is a story that remains to be seen. But I have to share with you that I can with confidence refer you to A Place For Mom
My dad, who is on a limited budget and cannot afford to live in my building (how's that for irony), was begging me to help him find a new place where the weather is not so hot. He has a sister in Central California, but I did not know anything about communities that far away. So I contacted A Place For Mom as a client, and the shoe was on the other foot, so to speak. I cannot tell you how pleasant the experience was! I did nothing special, I just went on the website, and followed the prompts, and answered the questions.
A very nice counselor called and emailed me, she was not pushy, she listened carefully, and on Wednesday I took my dad to the train station to go see the places that were recommended. My dad returned on Friday, and reported a wonderful experience.
Whether he moves or not is a story that remains to be seen. But I have to share with you that I can with confidence refer you to A Place For Mom
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Part 1 of 3 solutions for caregiver stress
Subscribe to donahue101 to see videos on caregiver stress: here is the latest edition that begins the conversation about solutions.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAUzqTUgGyE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAUzqTUgGyE
Monday, August 10, 2009
New Site
A new site from the Caregiver Relief family is hitting the blogosphere this week. They are just launching, but it looks promising. Even the title gives one hope: http://easyCaregiving.com. So i wouldn't hurt to click and take a look.
I will see you over there...
I will see you over there...
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I did my homework, now you should do yours
Look down below this post and you will see my last blog about 4 easy steps to prevent Alzheimer's. In a nutshell they are Diet, Exercise (body and brain), Supplements and Stress Management. Thinking about how well I follow my own advice, I thought I should share with you my absolutely most favorite thing. For brain exercise, I use something called Luminosity. It is tons of fun, and good for you too...here is a link: Free Trial.
Try it out! Its free, but even at the end of trial it is pretty darn inexpensive. And afterall what is your brain health worth to you?
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
4 Easy Steps to delay or even prevent Alzheimer's Disease
Brain Health is important and often neglected. But it is possible to significantly delay or even prevent getting Alzheimer's. Here's how:
Diet:
This is easy, a heart healthy diet is a brain healthy diet. There is a lot of information out there on eating right to protect your heart. Just find it and follow it.
That said, I find that this is also the hardest step to implement. It takes a tremendous amount of will power to change our eating habits...permanently. Anyone who has ever dieted can do things like eat nothing but cabbage soup for a week, or only consume carbohydrates for months at a time. But that "life-time" type of change is another story. Subconsciously, I think we know it and when we are told "change what you eat", we immediately start to lose steam and enthusiasm.
So, let's forgot this step until you have started all of the other steps. Then I am going to ask you to make small incremental changes at your own pace. For example:
* Stop snacking before bedtime. After you eat dinner commit to not having another bite until breakfast.
* Cut your salad dressing use in half.
* Buy some apples and eat at least one a day. Experiment, see which ones you like. Buy Fuji apples one time, Gala the next, and Golden Delicious after that (make it fun).
You will be surprised how a small success like this will give you motivation to push to the next level. Lose just two pounds and your self-esteem will shoot through the roof. And if you have started the steps below you will find a hidden well-spring of desire in yourself. You will walk with a spring in your step and you will find yourself smiling a lot more often.
Exercise:
1. Physical exercise is paramount! You must do something, anything that gets your heart rate up, better still if you can do weight bearing exercise - anything that can either build up a little bulk or just tone what you have is vital for good brain health. If you have the time and money try Pilates. Pilates is great for Boomers because it focuses on core body strength. It's easy to do, and you get fast results.
Or if you can find an hour for yourself, three times a week, join the YMCA. I mention the Y because it is the least expensive gym, and the you will be surprised at the extent of great programs they offer. The YMCA has a lock on community and family building. You will be greeted at the door by real people, and generally speaking their staff are all committed, compassionate folk. There is none of that scrambling for membership dues, and you will never get that suspicious feeling that those "young jocks" are judging you, like you might at those fancy designer gyms.
Best of all you find more programs and lots of genuine support (that you don't have to hire trainers for!). Heck, they even have a pool! A big giant pool, not a funky little lap pool. Everyone knows the best exercise you can do is swimming, because you are not putting a strain on your joints and it exercises your whole body. Summary: Pilates or the YMCA.
2. Mental exercise is also very important: Challenge your brain, do stimulating stuff. The trick with this is to do something NEW! For example, if you have been doing crossword puzzles for 10 years, then you are not challenging your brain enough. By all means continue doing it, but don't just stop there. Learn Sudoku puzzles, learn chess, take a class at a community college.
This part always cracks me up. I advise people to challenge their brain and explain why, and the next time I see them they tell me they stopped because it was too hard. That was the point! Here's a personal example, I finally learned to Sudoku a couple of years ago. I had tried to Sudoku a couple of times before, but it made absolutely no sense, and I swore it was impossible to figure out what numbers went into what boxes (Sudoku is a number puzzle game where you are given a partially completed grid of numbers and are expected to figure out the missing numbers). I even harbored a strong dislike of those puzzles, reasoning that it was a stupid game with ridiculous rules.
What was that except my lazy brain not wanting to challenge itself? Keep that in mind, and if you find yourself, like me, having tried several things and given up, try thinking of your brain as a reluctant little fat kid trying to get out of Gym Class and don't buy into it! Force your brain to learn for its own good.
Supplements:
Most of us take supplements; that's good. Everybody also has their own sources of information for what they should take. However, if you only take one supplement, take Omega 3 Fatty Acid! It is the single most important and effective supplement for brain health.
Make sure when you buy it that it is "molecularly distilled" (this takes out impurities like Mercury). The recommended dose that is most often suggested is 1200 - 2400mg.
That said, here are a some further suggestions: take anti-oxidants. Anti-oxidants come in all shapes and sizes. Do your homework (it's good for your brain), start researching which ones you think are most effective. Some good sources are: aged garlic extract, Resveratrol, green tea extract, Vitamins A, E and C, the list is long. Warning: I am not a doctor, therefore I must advise you to check with your own doctor before starting any new supplements. There are good reasons for this, besides strange reactions that you might have, some supplements are very powerful. For example, garlic and ginkgo Biloba are blood thinners, your doctor needs to know you are thinking of taking it as a supplement. Especially if you are already taking a baby aspirin or are on Coumadin.
Be careful, don't be sucked into the next "fad" anti-oxidant. It seems that every week there is a newly discovered anti-oxidant in the rain forest that is a billion times more powerful than any other. That's all marketing BS. Someone is trying to make a lot of money off of you. Before you sign up for that special juice cocktail that gets delivered to your door, ask yourself "am I going to do this for the next 10 years or more?"
Eliminate Stress:
You cannot change your circumstances and the challenges in your life that stress you out. But you CAN change the way you react to it. There is not enough room here for a proper discussion on the topic, but just be aware that long-term stress is a killer. If you are doing everything listed above to stay healthy, stress will undo it! Unfortunately, knowing that you need to change the way you react to stress is infinitely harder that actually doing it. We are all conditioned over the years to react to stressful events a certain way. Changing this with awareness and willpower is nearly impossible. You may disagree, and if you can change just by deciding to not let stress rule you, God bless you. But if you are like me, your stress tolerance is embedded in your subconscious, and the best way to change your subconscious is with hypnosis or guided imagery. I'll tell you why.
Your mind is like an iceberg. About 20 percent of an iceberg is above the water, leaving the vast bulk of it below the surface. Your mind is similarly constructed, your conscious mind is around 12 percent, while subconscious mind is about 88 percent. Your subconscious holds your "life-script" the essence of who you are since you were a child. That "life-script" keeps us consistent, it is the status quo of our self image. Good or bad. Our script limits us to these preconceived notions and does not easily change. So when we decide to make significant changes, like exercising, changing food preferences, quitting smoking, losing weight, attracting a different kind of mate, we have to apply a lot of conscious will power to it, and we have to sustain it for a long time. If we let up too soon, our subconscious drags us back to the more familiar self concept - status quo.
Go back to the iceberg example. Imagine that the wind is blowing North but the ocean current is moving South, which way to you think the iceberg will move? South, of course. The wind is pushing against 20% of the mass, but the current is pushing against 80% of the mass. The wind doesn't have a chance. In similar fashion your mind will have little success when consciously trying to change.
However there is a way to change that "life-script" in the subconscious mind! Hypnosis. Don't let your preconceived notions about stage show hypnotists making someone quack like a duck, confuse you. Hypnotherapy is a well regarded and accepted therapeutic tool. The best part is it works fast. Guided Imagery is a very mild yet extremely effect form of hypnosis. And the beauty of it is you can listen to guided imagery on a CD in the comfort of your own home and realize amazing results.
For more information on this topic start with my website www.caregiverrelief.com. But don't stop there, do a google search on guided imagery and you will find tons of great information. Best of luck, and feel free to write me!
Diet:
This is easy, a heart healthy diet is a brain healthy diet. There is a lot of information out there on eating right to protect your heart. Just find it and follow it.
That said, I find that this is also the hardest step to implement. It takes a tremendous amount of will power to change our eating habits...permanently. Anyone who has ever dieted can do things like eat nothing but cabbage soup for a week, or only consume carbohydrates for months at a time. But that "life-time" type of change is another story. Subconsciously, I think we know it and when we are told "change what you eat", we immediately start to lose steam and enthusiasm.
So, let's forgot this step until you have started all of the other steps. Then I am going to ask you to make small incremental changes at your own pace. For example:
* Stop snacking before bedtime. After you eat dinner commit to not having another bite until breakfast.
* Cut your salad dressing use in half.
* Buy some apples and eat at least one a day. Experiment, see which ones you like. Buy Fuji apples one time, Gala the next, and Golden Delicious after that (make it fun).
You will be surprised how a small success like this will give you motivation to push to the next level. Lose just two pounds and your self-esteem will shoot through the roof. And if you have started the steps below you will find a hidden well-spring of desire in yourself. You will walk with a spring in your step and you will find yourself smiling a lot more often.
Exercise:
1. Physical exercise is paramount! You must do something, anything that gets your heart rate up, better still if you can do weight bearing exercise - anything that can either build up a little bulk or just tone what you have is vital for good brain health. If you have the time and money try Pilates. Pilates is great for Boomers because it focuses on core body strength. It's easy to do, and you get fast results.
Or if you can find an hour for yourself, three times a week, join the YMCA. I mention the Y because it is the least expensive gym, and the you will be surprised at the extent of great programs they offer. The YMCA has a lock on community and family building. You will be greeted at the door by real people, and generally speaking their staff are all committed, compassionate folk. There is none of that scrambling for membership dues, and you will never get that suspicious feeling that those "young jocks" are judging you, like you might at those fancy designer gyms.
Best of all you find more programs and lots of genuine support (that you don't have to hire trainers for!). Heck, they even have a pool! A big giant pool, not a funky little lap pool. Everyone knows the best exercise you can do is swimming, because you are not putting a strain on your joints and it exercises your whole body. Summary: Pilates or the YMCA.
2. Mental exercise is also very important: Challenge your brain, do stimulating stuff. The trick with this is to do something NEW! For example, if you have been doing crossword puzzles for 10 years, then you are not challenging your brain enough. By all means continue doing it, but don't just stop there. Learn Sudoku puzzles, learn chess, take a class at a community college.
This part always cracks me up. I advise people to challenge their brain and explain why, and the next time I see them they tell me they stopped because it was too hard. That was the point! Here's a personal example, I finally learned to Sudoku a couple of years ago. I had tried to Sudoku a couple of times before, but it made absolutely no sense, and I swore it was impossible to figure out what numbers went into what boxes (Sudoku is a number puzzle game where you are given a partially completed grid of numbers and are expected to figure out the missing numbers). I even harbored a strong dislike of those puzzles, reasoning that it was a stupid game with ridiculous rules.
What was that except my lazy brain not wanting to challenge itself? Keep that in mind, and if you find yourself, like me, having tried several things and given up, try thinking of your brain as a reluctant little fat kid trying to get out of Gym Class and don't buy into it! Force your brain to learn for its own good.
Supplements:
Most of us take supplements; that's good. Everybody also has their own sources of information for what they should take. However, if you only take one supplement, take Omega 3 Fatty Acid! It is the single most important and effective supplement for brain health.
Make sure when you buy it that it is "molecularly distilled" (this takes out impurities like Mercury). The recommended dose that is most often suggested is 1200 - 2400mg.
That said, here are a some further suggestions: take anti-oxidants. Anti-oxidants come in all shapes and sizes. Do your homework (it's good for your brain), start researching which ones you think are most effective. Some good sources are: aged garlic extract, Resveratrol, green tea extract, Vitamins A, E and C, the list is long. Warning: I am not a doctor, therefore I must advise you to check with your own doctor before starting any new supplements. There are good reasons for this, besides strange reactions that you might have, some supplements are very powerful. For example, garlic and ginkgo Biloba are blood thinners, your doctor needs to know you are thinking of taking it as a supplement. Especially if you are already taking a baby aspirin or are on Coumadin.
Be careful, don't be sucked into the next "fad" anti-oxidant. It seems that every week there is a newly discovered anti-oxidant in the rain forest that is a billion times more powerful than any other. That's all marketing BS. Someone is trying to make a lot of money off of you. Before you sign up for that special juice cocktail that gets delivered to your door, ask yourself "am I going to do this for the next 10 years or more?"
Eliminate Stress:
You cannot change your circumstances and the challenges in your life that stress you out. But you CAN change the way you react to it. There is not enough room here for a proper discussion on the topic, but just be aware that long-term stress is a killer. If you are doing everything listed above to stay healthy, stress will undo it! Unfortunately, knowing that you need to change the way you react to stress is infinitely harder that actually doing it. We are all conditioned over the years to react to stressful events a certain way. Changing this with awareness and willpower is nearly impossible. You may disagree, and if you can change just by deciding to not let stress rule you, God bless you. But if you are like me, your stress tolerance is embedded in your subconscious, and the best way to change your subconscious is with hypnosis or guided imagery. I'll tell you why.
Your mind is like an iceberg. About 20 percent of an iceberg is above the water, leaving the vast bulk of it below the surface. Your mind is similarly constructed, your conscious mind is around 12 percent, while subconscious mind is about 88 percent. Your subconscious holds your "life-script" the essence of who you are since you were a child. That "life-script" keeps us consistent, it is the status quo of our self image. Good or bad. Our script limits us to these preconceived notions and does not easily change. So when we decide to make significant changes, like exercising, changing food preferences, quitting smoking, losing weight, attracting a different kind of mate, we have to apply a lot of conscious will power to it, and we have to sustain it for a long time. If we let up too soon, our subconscious drags us back to the more familiar self concept - status quo.
Go back to the iceberg example. Imagine that the wind is blowing North but the ocean current is moving South, which way to you think the iceberg will move? South, of course. The wind is pushing against 20% of the mass, but the current is pushing against 80% of the mass. The wind doesn't have a chance. In similar fashion your mind will have little success when consciously trying to change.
However there is a way to change that "life-script" in the subconscious mind! Hypnosis. Don't let your preconceived notions about stage show hypnotists making someone quack like a duck, confuse you. Hypnotherapy is a well regarded and accepted therapeutic tool. The best part is it works fast. Guided Imagery is a very mild yet extremely effect form of hypnosis. And the beauty of it is you can listen to guided imagery on a CD in the comfort of your own home and realize amazing results.
For more information on this topic start with my website www.caregiverrelief.com. But don't stop there, do a google search on guided imagery and you will find tons of great information. Best of luck, and feel free to write me!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Spouse with Alzheimers
Joan is a new friend. She has an amazing blog that is suited for spouses of Alzheimer’s sufferers. Recently I read the following post and thought to share it with you. Please feel free to go find and read her post, and don’t forget www.caregiverrelief.com for your caregiving needs, and please sign-up for the free newsletter while you are there (you get a very valuable gift when you do!)
JOAN’S BLOG – WED/THUR, APRIL 22/23, 2009 – THE WORST CASE EVER
For those of you who are not aware, my husband has been refusing to take his second daily dose of the anti-rage medication, Risperdal. He was taking the morning pill, but absolutely refused to take the afternoon pill, because he “didn’t need it”. Before you start scolding me that I should have resorted to a variety of deceptive practices to have made sure it entered his body without him knowing it, you must understand his level of functioning. His problems are behavior, impulse control, anger, memory, language comprehension, and processing. He is fully aware of what is going on around him, knows every pill he takes, and would taste the difference if it were crushed up in his food. The repercussions of such deception would irreparably damage whatever peace had been achieved from the medication. Every doctor and social worker agreed – there is no way to get a pill into him if he refuses to take it.
Needless to say, the situation has been deteriorating steadily here since the elimination of that second pill. I could see the anger building; it was just a matter of time, and Tuesday was the day. I suppose I should have been grateful that he woke up refusing to speak to me rather than screaming at me. (No need to wonder why he was angry – it is ALWAYS the same – I destroyed his life, stole his freedom, made him a prisoner in his own home, by taking away his driving. He will never accept it and never forgive me. Period.) By the time we got to our support group meeting, the rage was so apparent on his face that those who know him well, and those who barely know him, remarked to me about it.
If I were in the mood to find humor in this situation, and I am not, I suppose it would almost be funny to say that he has now earned the undistinguished honor of being the worst, most stubborn, impossible to deal with “driving issue case” ever seen by every social worker, psychiatrist, psychologist, and doctor who has tried to deal with him. I have actually had two psychologists throw up their hands and say that there is nothing they can do for him. He is undealable ( I know that’s not a word – I made it up because it seems appropriate to the situation). The only option is to get him on the medication and keep him on it. Catch-22. He won’t take it and no one can make him take it.
What do you do when no professional can handle your situation? You handle it yourself. I spent 25 years dealing with brain damaged, psychotic, violent children, adolescents, and adults. I dusted off my therapist hat, locked my emotions in the closet, and spent 2 ½ hours dealing with the situation. In the end, he agreed to take the second pill, and I agreed to put his “travel” needs ahead of my work, and take him where he wants to go when he wants to go. My end of the bargain is irrelevant, because he will not be satisfied being “carted around by his wife”, as he calls it, but my hope is that the medication will once again smooth him out enough that we can both function at some level of peace.
Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com
Monday, March 9, 2009
caregiver stress revisited
If you're like many people with Alzheimer caregiver stress, it means you're either the adult child or the spouse of a loved one with this devastating disease. Like many other people in your position you probably worry, "What happens if I become critically ill or succumb to heart attacks, strokes or maybe cancer?"
For many people with these medical conditions (including influenza, diabetes, cancer, etc.) stress played a large role in their circumstance.
An in-depth analysis can be found at www.caregiverrelief.com
Alzheimer Caregiver Stress Is Chronic Stress
First, let's look at chronic stress. Alzheimer caregiving stress, for example, is considered chronic stress because it's the result of constant exposure to circumstances and conditions often beyond your control that cause a hyper-alert state. You're frequently dealing with unpredictable and/or volatile situations and irrational behavior. To compound the problem it's often without reliable recourse that is dependable and consistent.
Living under such trying, emotional pressure has long-term effects on your mental health, with ailments like clinical depression. But it also has bearing on your physical heath.
In fact, the past 20 years of research shows that people who suffer from chronic stress, like caregiver stress, are at much greater risk FOR heart attacks, strokes, and even cancer than others in their age bracket. In fact, according to the Alzheimer's Association, 50% of caregivers die before the person they are caring for. It's theorized that chronic stress, which weakens the physical body, (and dampens the immune system) is one the main culprits for this high mortality rate.
What Happens Physically During Caregiver Stress?
First realize that stress is not an emotional state, but rather a physiological reaction that occurs in your body. Doctors refer to it as the hypothalamic pituitary axis; the connection between the hypothalamus, pituitary and the adrenal gland.
These three 'elements' work together in a stressful situation to put the body into a heightened state of preparation to overcome a potentially life threatening event. This stress reaction is actually a left over from a survival mechanism called, "Fight or Flight."
When faced with tremendous stress, where survival might hang in the balance, humans have one of two instant reactions – run from the situation (flight) or meet the challenge head-on (fight).
How a person reacts will differ from one to the next. But the thing that is consistent is the hypothalamic pituitary axis (HPA) itself. Everyone has the HPA and it regulates:
• Blood Pressure
• Heart Rate
• Body Temperature
• Sleep Patterns
• Hunger and Thirst
• Among many other activities
When stress becomes great, the HPA system takes over in a matter of seconds. Blood circulation is diverted from the extremities to internal organs. Adrenaline is secreted in massive amounts for instant energy. The adrenal gland starts producing and releasing steroid hormones, including the primary stress hormone cortisol. This hormone travels to all areas including the heart, lungs, circulation, metabolism, immune systems and skin.
Now, if a bear in the wild (or a thug on a street city corner) attacks you, then this HPA system can literally be a lifesaver. But here's the problem as it relates to Alzheimer caregiver stress…
When stress is routine, so is this constant biochemical release that, over time, actually harms the body in various ways such as:
• Decreased immune system
• Greater chance for infection and disease
• Digestive tract problems like ulcers
• Lung problems like asthma
• Heart disease, which causes strokes and heart attacks
The HPA system is an intelligent design within the human race. The problem is it doesn't automatically distinguish caregiver stress that is continuous, day after day, from a bear attack, which is temporary. That means the stress that caregivers endure is chronic, and therefore, more debilitating to the human body. The good news is there are ways to combat its effects.
It's called stress management.
How Does Stress Management Help with Alzheimer caregiver stress?
Good question! And that's the main purpose of my website www.caregiverrelief.com, because caregiver stress is practically unavoidable.
For many people with these medical conditions (including influenza, diabetes, cancer, etc.) stress played a large role in their circumstance.
An in-depth analysis can be found at www.caregiverrelief.com
Alzheimer Caregiver Stress Is Chronic Stress
First, let's look at chronic stress. Alzheimer caregiving stress, for example, is considered chronic stress because it's the result of constant exposure to circumstances and conditions often beyond your control that cause a hyper-alert state. You're frequently dealing with unpredictable and/or volatile situations and irrational behavior. To compound the problem it's often without reliable recourse that is dependable and consistent.
Living under such trying, emotional pressure has long-term effects on your mental health, with ailments like clinical depression. But it also has bearing on your physical heath.
In fact, the past 20 years of research shows that people who suffer from chronic stress, like caregiver stress, are at much greater risk FOR heart attacks, strokes, and even cancer than others in their age bracket. In fact, according to the Alzheimer's Association, 50% of caregivers die before the person they are caring for. It's theorized that chronic stress, which weakens the physical body, (and dampens the immune system) is one the main culprits for this high mortality rate.
What Happens Physically During Caregiver Stress?
First realize that stress is not an emotional state, but rather a physiological reaction that occurs in your body. Doctors refer to it as the hypothalamic pituitary axis; the connection between the hypothalamus, pituitary and the adrenal gland.
These three 'elements' work together in a stressful situation to put the body into a heightened state of preparation to overcome a potentially life threatening event. This stress reaction is actually a left over from a survival mechanism called, "Fight or Flight."
When faced with tremendous stress, where survival might hang in the balance, humans have one of two instant reactions – run from the situation (flight) or meet the challenge head-on (fight).
How a person reacts will differ from one to the next. But the thing that is consistent is the hypothalamic pituitary axis (HPA) itself. Everyone has the HPA and it regulates:
• Blood Pressure
• Heart Rate
• Body Temperature
• Sleep Patterns
• Hunger and Thirst
• Among many other activities
When stress becomes great, the HPA system takes over in a matter of seconds. Blood circulation is diverted from the extremities to internal organs. Adrenaline is secreted in massive amounts for instant energy. The adrenal gland starts producing and releasing steroid hormones, including the primary stress hormone cortisol. This hormone travels to all areas including the heart, lungs, circulation, metabolism, immune systems and skin.
Now, if a bear in the wild (or a thug on a street city corner) attacks you, then this HPA system can literally be a lifesaver. But here's the problem as it relates to Alzheimer caregiver stress…
When stress is routine, so is this constant biochemical release that, over time, actually harms the body in various ways such as:
• Decreased immune system
• Greater chance for infection and disease
• Digestive tract problems like ulcers
• Lung problems like asthma
• Heart disease, which causes strokes and heart attacks
The HPA system is an intelligent design within the human race. The problem is it doesn't automatically distinguish caregiver stress that is continuous, day after day, from a bear attack, which is temporary. That means the stress that caregivers endure is chronic, and therefore, more debilitating to the human body. The good news is there are ways to combat its effects.
It's called stress management.
How Does Stress Management Help with Alzheimer caregiver stress?
Good question! And that's the main purpose of my website www.caregiverrelief.com, because caregiver stress is practically unavoidable.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Martha Stewart testifies to Congress on behalf of Caregivers
Marta Stewart testifies to Congress on behalf of Caregivers
A couple of months ago Martha Stewart appeared in front of the US Special Committee on Aging. That’s right! Martha Stewart is a caregiver! Who would have imagined it? She testified before congress and shared her experiences as a caregiver of her mother. It was through her experience that she was compelled to start the Martha Stewart Center for Living, which is a clinic for coordinated outpatient geriatric services at Mount Sinai in New York. Her testimony was proffered along with testimony from Gerontological experts just two days after the release of a government report about the worsening workforce crisis in America.
coming soon: Special 2008 report by the Alzheimer’s Association!
A couple of months ago Martha Stewart appeared in front of the US Special Committee on Aging. That’s right! Martha Stewart is a caregiver! Who would have imagined it? She testified before congress and shared her experiences as a caregiver of her mother. It was through her experience that she was compelled to start the Martha Stewart Center for Living, which is a clinic for coordinated outpatient geriatric services at Mount Sinai in New York. Her testimony was proffered along with testimony from Gerontological experts just two days after the release of a government report about the worsening workforce crisis in America.
coming soon: Special 2008 report by the Alzheimer’s Association!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Thinking about assisted living?
I am preparing a special report on the 10 most common mistakes people make when choosing an assisted living. It’s taking me a while because I want it to be completely comprehensive to include complete solutions to these common mistakes.
After all these years, I have been involved in hundreds of admissions. I have see them be completely successful and I have seen them fail miserably, and everything in between. Based on what I have experienced, based on both the mistakes I have made, and the mistakes that families have made, I have compiled the 10 most important things to be aware of. So in other words to address these issues that I am going to address, is to realize a big mistake. And most people do not think about these things until after they have chosen their community and signed an admission agreement.
If you are about to start touring communities, or if you think you may start looking in the distant future, you need this list. Until I have my website up, I am going to give it away. But I can’t print it here. Some of my colleagues might get very upset if they saw what I was putting into this special report. Therefore, rather than post the list in this blog, I am going email it to any subscribers of this blog. If you want to get a copy you need only subscribe to this blog, and email me a note to that fact. You can do this by looking for a link in this blog. By the way, you have nothing to fear, if you subscribe to a blog, any blog on WordPress; it only means that you will get an email with the content of any future posts. We do not give or sell your email address to anyone, and you will not receive any marketing emails of any kind. You will only receive the blog post and nothing else.
In the meantime, here is a sample of one of the points that I feel are safe to post. So to get the rest of make sure you subscribe to my blog. Again, WordPress, or I will not share your information with anyone else, and at any point if you wish to unsubscribe, you need only say so.
Number 4
Find out about cost-of-living rent increases
I am assuming that when you tour assisted living communities you will ask a lot of questions. Most communities will do their best give you all the information that you want. They want you to make a well informed decision. It is in their interest not to hide any costs from you. But it is impossible to cover everything in the short amount of time that you are there touring. They will, and should, tell you about every level of care and the different contingencies that would trigger an added cost to you. Things like incontinence care, or one-on-care. But one thing that often gets neglected is the cost of living adjustments. Every community has them, but they can vary dramatically. For example, if your rent is going to be $3000 (which is the average cost in Southern California) a 3% cost of living raise is almost $100 per month, 5% is $150.
Generally, the cost-of-living raises come annually, on the anniversary month that you moved in. But they can vary dramatically in amount of raise and frequency. Chances are that the admission agreement will be purposely vague on the amount, but very clear on the notification requirements. In California the notification requirement is that the facility is required to give you a 60 notice of any cost-of-living increase. In all likelihood they can’t tell you an exact amount, but it’s usually a percentage of your base rent. You should ask them something like “Traditionally what is your cost-of-living”? Or “urrently, what are you charging?” What is important here is that you factor this into your budget. Remember, the ideal is that your loved one lives another 10 years and 10 years of cost of living raises can be substantial.
Next week: Number 5 Not allowing for an adjustment period when your parent moves in
After all these years, I have been involved in hundreds of admissions. I have see them be completely successful and I have seen them fail miserably, and everything in between. Based on what I have experienced, based on both the mistakes I have made, and the mistakes that families have made, I have compiled the 10 most important things to be aware of. So in other words to address these issues that I am going to address, is to realize a big mistake. And most people do not think about these things until after they have chosen their community and signed an admission agreement.
If you are about to start touring communities, or if you think you may start looking in the distant future, you need this list. Until I have my website up, I am going to give it away. But I can’t print it here. Some of my colleagues might get very upset if they saw what I was putting into this special report. Therefore, rather than post the list in this blog, I am going email it to any subscribers of this blog. If you want to get a copy you need only subscribe to this blog, and email me a note to that fact. You can do this by looking for a link in this blog. By the way, you have nothing to fear, if you subscribe to a blog, any blog on WordPress; it only means that you will get an email with the content of any future posts. We do not give or sell your email address to anyone, and you will not receive any marketing emails of any kind. You will only receive the blog post and nothing else.
In the meantime, here is a sample of one of the points that I feel are safe to post. So to get the rest of make sure you subscribe to my blog. Again, WordPress, or I will not share your information with anyone else, and at any point if you wish to unsubscribe, you need only say so.
Number 4
Find out about cost-of-living rent increases
I am assuming that when you tour assisted living communities you will ask a lot of questions. Most communities will do their best give you all the information that you want. They want you to make a well informed decision. It is in their interest not to hide any costs from you. But it is impossible to cover everything in the short amount of time that you are there touring. They will, and should, tell you about every level of care and the different contingencies that would trigger an added cost to you. Things like incontinence care, or one-on-care. But one thing that often gets neglected is the cost of living adjustments. Every community has them, but they can vary dramatically. For example, if your rent is going to be $3000 (which is the average cost in Southern California) a 3% cost of living raise is almost $100 per month, 5% is $150.
Generally, the cost-of-living raises come annually, on the anniversary month that you moved in. But they can vary dramatically in amount of raise and frequency. Chances are that the admission agreement will be purposely vague on the amount, but very clear on the notification requirements. In California the notification requirement is that the facility is required to give you a 60 notice of any cost-of-living increase. In all likelihood they can’t tell you an exact amount, but it’s usually a percentage of your base rent. You should ask them something like “Traditionally what is your cost-of-living”? Or “urrently, what are you charging?” What is important here is that you factor this into your budget. Remember, the ideal is that your loved one lives another 10 years and 10 years of cost of living raises can be substantial.
Next week: Number 5 Not allowing for an adjustment period when your parent moves in
Sunday, September 23, 2007
The Stress of Caregiving
The Stress of Caregiving
If you give care for a parent, spouse or elderly family member, you are certainly under a lot of pressure and stress. Perhaps you feel guilty because you think you aren't doing enough, and you're frustrated that you can't do more.
You are not alone. Most everyone who provides major care for parents and spouses experience stress and depression. Studies show that long-term stress is not just unpleasant – it can negatively affect your health, well-being, and ability to provide care. The strain of caregiving is so detrimental that statically, 50% of caregivers for loved ones with Alzheimer's die before their infirmed spouse or parent. Clearly, when you are caring for others, taking care of yourself and your needs is imperative.
Managing your stress and resolving your caregiving problems will improve your physical and mental health to benefit yourself, your elderly loved ones, and others who depend on you.
How can I do that you may ask? Well one way is to enlist the help of a life coach. My website is in the works and not up yet. But here is an excerpt from it. Besides offering geriatric care managment, I've started a more affordable alternative. For that matter, a more effect alternative in the long run. Its called Caregiver Coaching. Here's the excerpt:
CAREGIVER COACHING
A revolutionary concept for helping caregivers, caregiver coaching unlike geriatric care management, is an affordable support option for struggling or new caregivers.
If you are familiar with ‘life coaching’ then you can easily imagine how Caregiver Coaching works.
Wikipedia.org defines it this way: Life coaching is a practice of assisting clients to determine and achieve personal goals. A coach will use a variety of methods, tailored to the client, to move through the process of setting and reaching goals.
Many caregivers often feel alone in their struggle to care for their spouse or parent, having little contact with people that understand them or what they are going through. With caregiver coaching, they now have a knowledgeable and understanding person that they can turn to whenever they want or need encouragement and informed feedback. A caregiver coach gives you a calm, objective view on your life and circumstances, and even a structured plan for improving it. You may think of a life coach as a knowledgeable friend or companion with no agenda except to help you live your life at the best possible level you can imagine. You can view your coach as a best friend with no problems of their own and a management consultant without a high price tag.
Caregiver Coaching starts with initial interview. The client and the coach get to know one another. We cover everything from you current circumstance to your personal philosophy of life; from your goals or vision, to your limitations. We will help you design your support structure and frame our relationship. It may be that we speak on weekly basis with the option of calling me when you have a need for guidance or just to vent your frustration, or it may daily contact, it’s all up to you. Caregiver coaching has brought many caregivers back from the throws of depression and desperation to a renewed sense of joy and purpose.
********
So what do you think? Do you think it can help you? Please contact me. Either here, or a www.caregiverrelief.com or at donahueg@alumni.usc.edu
If you give care for a parent, spouse or elderly family member, you are certainly under a lot of pressure and stress. Perhaps you feel guilty because you think you aren't doing enough, and you're frustrated that you can't do more.
You are not alone. Most everyone who provides major care for parents and spouses experience stress and depression. Studies show that long-term stress is not just unpleasant – it can negatively affect your health, well-being, and ability to provide care. The strain of caregiving is so detrimental that statically, 50% of caregivers for loved ones with Alzheimer's die before their infirmed spouse or parent. Clearly, when you are caring for others, taking care of yourself and your needs is imperative.
Managing your stress and resolving your caregiving problems will improve your physical and mental health to benefit yourself, your elderly loved ones, and others who depend on you.
How can I do that you may ask? Well one way is to enlist the help of a life coach. My website is in the works and not up yet. But here is an excerpt from it. Besides offering geriatric care managment, I've started a more affordable alternative. For that matter, a more effect alternative in the long run. Its called Caregiver Coaching. Here's the excerpt:
CAREGIVER COACHING
A revolutionary concept for helping caregivers, caregiver coaching unlike geriatric care management, is an affordable support option for struggling or new caregivers.
If you are familiar with ‘life coaching’ then you can easily imagine how Caregiver Coaching works.
Wikipedia.org defines it this way: Life coaching is a practice of assisting clients to determine and achieve personal goals. A coach will use a variety of methods, tailored to the client, to move through the process of setting and reaching goals.
Many caregivers often feel alone in their struggle to care for their spouse or parent, having little contact with people that understand them or what they are going through. With caregiver coaching, they now have a knowledgeable and understanding person that they can turn to whenever they want or need encouragement and informed feedback. A caregiver coach gives you a calm, objective view on your life and circumstances, and even a structured plan for improving it. You may think of a life coach as a knowledgeable friend or companion with no agenda except to help you live your life at the best possible level you can imagine. You can view your coach as a best friend with no problems of their own and a management consultant without a high price tag.
Caregiver Coaching starts with initial interview. The client and the coach get to know one another. We cover everything from you current circumstance to your personal philosophy of life; from your goals or vision, to your limitations. We will help you design your support structure and frame our relationship. It may be that we speak on weekly basis with the option of calling me when you have a need for guidance or just to vent your frustration, or it may daily contact, it’s all up to you. Caregiver coaching has brought many caregivers back from the throws of depression and desperation to a renewed sense of joy and purpose.
********
So what do you think? Do you think it can help you? Please contact me. Either here, or a www.caregiverrelief.com or at donahueg@alumni.usc.edu
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
TEN THINGS EVERY NEW CAREGIVER SHOULD KNOW
Going on two decades, I have met hundreds of family caregivers. What is interesting is that they are all mostly self-taught. For most of them it’s a long and difficult learning curve. Not because the necessary information is difficult to learn or understand, but because there are few centralized sources that give you the full range of services and programs that you will need and that are available.
Part of the reason is that each business which has a focus on older adults is biased to the services that they provide. It’s natural. Every business is an expert in their own field, and their knowledge, and their interest for that matter, in other services is limited. For example, if I need a car and go into a Ford dealer, do you think they are likely to refer me to Dodge dealer? Even if they know that Dodge has the exact type of vehicle that I am looking for, they will probably try to fit me into the best Ford that matches my needs. I don’t fault them for that. If anything, I have myself to blame. I should have done my homework. Unfortunately the information I need to buy a car is lot easier to find that the information I need to best take care of my mom. And this is why I say most caregivers are self-taught. It is often a case of trial and error.
I am not implying that these service providers are dishonest; it’s just that each has a field that they favor. For example, a home health agency provides paid caregivers for the home. That’s their business, that’s what they know best. Their knowledge is limited about other options like assisted living or nursing homes. And by virtue of who they are, they think that home health care is always the superior option. Conversely, assisted living communities have the same mind-set about what they do. They in turn believe that theirs is the better option. And so it goes with most service providers, regardless of their service or product. The upshot is that we have a fragmented delivery system for senior services. And as a result, caregivers and seniors end up having to do a lot of homework to navigate the maze of senior services and programs.
Sometimes their introduction to the world of gerontology is the result of a sudden illness or accident, precipitated by trip the emergency room and a short stay in the hospital. Other times it’s the result of a progressive chronic illness or disease. If I could be there for the first group, I would suggest that they find a Geriatric Care Manager right away. It will be worth the initial assessment and consultation fee, and it will save a lot of time, grief and money (More about that later). I say this because hospital discharge planners are notorious for giving a family 24 hours notice or less before sending a patient home. And if you feel that you are unable to take your parent or spouse home, they may suggest a transfer to a nursing home. Therefore, if you want to avoid having to pick a nursing home sight unseen, you may want to do some homework ahead of time.
If you are in the second group, you are fortunate to have the luxury of doing some research in the early stages of your loved ones illness. Unfortunately, many put this off way too long and find themselves in a downward spiral of providing care beyond their ability and capacity. They wear themselves out, and unintentionally putting themselves and their loved ones at risk. All too often they do this until they end up in the first group, with their parent or spouse in the hospital and a discharge planner giving them 24 hours notice to make important decisions for placement and/or care options.
In either case, fear not, there is still time to do some research and start making plans that are well-informed and appropriate. If fact a short stay in a nursing home may buy you precious time to do some homework that suites both you and your family. In the following pages and posts I will explain the “Ten Things that Every New Caregiver Should Know”
1. Know your loved one’s true condition
a. Physically
b. Cognitively
c. Financially
2. Learn the territory
3. Find out where you stand
4. Know the future (yes its possible)
5. Know your options
6. Recognize your needs
7. Find your allies
8. Know your limitations
9. Develop your contingency plan
10. Know your enemy
Please stay tuned…
Part of the reason is that each business which has a focus on older adults is biased to the services that they provide. It’s natural. Every business is an expert in their own field, and their knowledge, and their interest for that matter, in other services is limited. For example, if I need a car and go into a Ford dealer, do you think they are likely to refer me to Dodge dealer? Even if they know that Dodge has the exact type of vehicle that I am looking for, they will probably try to fit me into the best Ford that matches my needs. I don’t fault them for that. If anything, I have myself to blame. I should have done my homework. Unfortunately the information I need to buy a car is lot easier to find that the information I need to best take care of my mom. And this is why I say most caregivers are self-taught. It is often a case of trial and error.
I am not implying that these service providers are dishonest; it’s just that each has a field that they favor. For example, a home health agency provides paid caregivers for the home. That’s their business, that’s what they know best. Their knowledge is limited about other options like assisted living or nursing homes. And by virtue of who they are, they think that home health care is always the superior option. Conversely, assisted living communities have the same mind-set about what they do. They in turn believe that theirs is the better option. And so it goes with most service providers, regardless of their service or product. The upshot is that we have a fragmented delivery system for senior services. And as a result, caregivers and seniors end up having to do a lot of homework to navigate the maze of senior services and programs.
Sometimes their introduction to the world of gerontology is the result of a sudden illness or accident, precipitated by trip the emergency room and a short stay in the hospital. Other times it’s the result of a progressive chronic illness or disease. If I could be there for the first group, I would suggest that they find a Geriatric Care Manager right away. It will be worth the initial assessment and consultation fee, and it will save a lot of time, grief and money (More about that later). I say this because hospital discharge planners are notorious for giving a family 24 hours notice or less before sending a patient home. And if you feel that you are unable to take your parent or spouse home, they may suggest a transfer to a nursing home. Therefore, if you want to avoid having to pick a nursing home sight unseen, you may want to do some homework ahead of time.
If you are in the second group, you are fortunate to have the luxury of doing some research in the early stages of your loved ones illness. Unfortunately, many put this off way too long and find themselves in a downward spiral of providing care beyond their ability and capacity. They wear themselves out, and unintentionally putting themselves and their loved ones at risk. All too often they do this until they end up in the first group, with their parent or spouse in the hospital and a discharge planner giving them 24 hours notice to make important decisions for placement and/or care options.
In either case, fear not, there is still time to do some research and start making plans that are well-informed and appropriate. If fact a short stay in a nursing home may buy you precious time to do some homework that suites both you and your family. In the following pages and posts I will explain the “Ten Things that Every New Caregiver Should Know”
1. Know your loved one’s true condition
a. Physically
b. Cognitively
c. Financially
2. Learn the territory
3. Find out where you stand
4. Know the future (yes its possible)
5. Know your options
6. Recognize your needs
7. Find your allies
8. Know your limitations
9. Develop your contingency plan
10. Know your enemy
Please stay tuned…
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Caregiver Relief: For those who care for a loved one with Alzheimer's Disease
Welcome to my very first blog. I have been looking for a way to reach and help caregivers for quite some time, and if someone who is struggling to take care of a loved one finds solutions in these pages, I will be pleased. For the past 15 years as a Gerontologist working in the aging field I have met hundreds of families who have found themselves in the position of caring for a family member and are at loss as to what to do and how to do it. In the days and pages to come I will be addressing a number of topics including:
· So your parents can no longer live alone?
· When the doctor says your mom has Alzheimer’s.
· Assisted Living answers for first-time caregivers.
· How to keep your parents out of a Nursing Home.
· How to help your surviving parent cope when their spouse dies.
· Hiring and keeping help for your parents when they don’t want it.
· Getting the car keys from Dad, “grounding” your parents.
· Shingles, Tingles and Wrinkles. Caregiving the new frontier.
· How to save money without sacrificing care.
· How to keep the nursing home from eating up your inheritance.
· When your parent's wishes and their care needs conflict.
· How to be a good parent to your parents – reversing roles.
· Family dynamics: Denial – getting over the guilt
· When the doctor says your mom has Alzheimer’s.
· Assisted Living answers for first-time caregivers.
· How to keep your parents out of a Nursing Home.
· How to help your surviving parent cope when their spouse dies.
· Hiring and keeping help for your parents when they don’t want it.
· Getting the car keys from Dad, “grounding” your parents.
· Shingles, Tingles and Wrinkles. Caregiving the new frontier.
· How to save money without sacrificing care.
· How to keep the nursing home from eating up your inheritance.
· When your parent's wishes and their care needs conflict.
· How to be a good parent to your parents – reversing roles.
· Family dynamics: Denial – getting over the guilt
The underlying theme in all these topics is stress management, by helping caregivers to cope by educating and guiding them through the maze of health care services and programs. There are dozens of anecdotes and stories that I will be using to illustrate the many topics and situations that caregivers face. My emphasis will be on caring for the caregiver. If you are a caregiver, I hope you find help and solutions here, and I welcome your feedback, questions and comments.
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